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First Comes Love

Updated: Apr 13, 2023

1 Peter 5:8 Be sober-minded; be watchful. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour.

After every wedding comes a marriage. And that is when the real work begins!!

I remember before we were married, which (cough, cough) was almost fifty years ago, Ken and I were so much in love. Nothing could get in our way, we loved each other so much. We were typical kids who believed two could live as cheaply as one. We knew we would never argue or fight. We totally believed we were a couple made to go together like peanut butter and jelly or salt and pepper.

We were sure we would never argue about the toothpaste tube or who did or didn’t put the toilet lid down or who makes the bed. We were warned about these little things but we knew we would never let these little things get in our way.

But that was before we learned about chocolate cake. It soon became his recipe vs. my recipe. For us, chocolate cake was a bone of contention.

Before we married, Ken lived on his own for a couple of years after high school. He waited for me to grow up and get old enough to marry. In those few years between living in his parents’ home to living with me, he picked up his own habits and also, a recipe for a chocolate cake which he claimed was his favorite. He called it “Beat ‘n Bake Cocoa Cake.”

As a new wife, when we married, I obviously brought many of my own habits and recipes with me. I had loved to cook and bake since childhood, so I had many recipes and cookbooks I’d collected. One of my recipes was also for a chocolate cake. My recipe was called “Wacky Cake.”

To me, the recipes were identical. To him, he was particular and wanted only his recipe to be used. He swore he could tell the difference between his recipe and my recipe.

Over the years, the recipe cards on which our original recipes had been written have disappeared. I’ve learned to make a chocolate cake we both like. Does it matter if he calls it “Beat n’ Bake Cocoa Cake” or if I say it is a “Wacky Cake?” No, it doesn’t matter in the least. If I do an internet search, even more names come up for this same recipe. Names like “Day Before Payday Cake,” “Vinegar Cake” or “Depression Cake.”

What really matter isn’t the name of the cake. What matters is how we would allow something as small as a cake recipe to come between two people who promised to love, honor and cherish each other until the day we die.

It might sound like a simple disagreement between two young people, young in years and young in their marriage, but it wasn’t. I let this fester in my heart for years. I let it bother me that my husband wouldn’t just accept my new recipe and let me do it my way.

Then one day I saw it for what it was. I was allowing something like a recipe to be used by the enemy to come between my husband and myself. It would never have caused us to divorce or verbally yell and scream at each other. But I allowed a tiny bitterness in every time he wanted me to make a cake with the name of his recipe and not use the name of my recipe.

I had allowed the Enemy to have a little strangle-hold where none should have been. So, I asked God where else had I allowed the Enemy in? I started reading and studying the Word of God. I needed to know how the enemy deceives, deludes, defrauds, lies, and manipulates me.

There are many verses in the Bible that speaks to the deception by the enemy. It is easy to be deceived, just look at our sister Eve in the Garden of Eden.

· Matthew 4:1 the enemy is called a Deceiver/Accuser.

· Ephesians 2:2 he is known as the prince of the power of the air.

· Revelation 12:9 he is portrayed as a dragon

· Job 1, he is the adversary.

· Matthew 4:3, he is the tempter.

· Matthew 13:19 he is the wicked one.

· John 10:10, the enemy comes only to kill, steal and destroy

Just as a single cake recipe may have many names, we have many names for the enemy. Don’t be confused. The enemy is dangerous and he only has one agenda, to cause us to sin. Because sinning is a separation from God. We sin and the enemy laughs at the result.

But God!

We children of God have this promise from the Word in 1 John 5:18

“We know that everyone who has been born of God does not keep on sinning, but he who was born of God protects him, and evil one does not touch him.”




1 1/2 cup Flour

1 cup Sugar

1/4 cup unsweetened Cocoa Powder

1 Tsp Baking Soda

½ tsp Salt

1 cup Water

5 Tbs Oil

1 tsp Vanilla

2 Tsp Vinegar (apple cider or white)

Preheat oven to 350.

In mixing bowl, whisk together the dry ingredients. Make 3 depressions in the top of the dry ingredients. In one depression, add vanilla, in one depression add the oil and in the last depression, add the vinegar. Mix.

Pour into greased 8 x 8 pan.

Bake 20 – 25 minutes or until a toothpick inserted comes out clean.

What makes this cake special? There are no eggs or milk or butter. Yet, it is always moist. It’s good with or without frosting. The way we like it is with just a little sprinkling of powder sugar over the top.

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1 Comment

I have made this cake, and it is delicious! Linda Hollingshead

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